May your hopes be fulfilled with joy and fun...

Konnichiwa!! I know i have not been updating my blog but i have been... yes... busy with things. -.-'''' anyways, my results for the preliminary exams are given except for my english, malay and food and nutrition. >__< i bet you i'll fail my malay and i knew i failed my F&N.

My other papers are alright. Borderling passes. not that i'm complaining or anything. Anyways, may not be updating oh-so-regularly now because of my night study at school and loads of studying back at home and plus plus my graduation presentation AND my class photo for the yearbook... -______- i am soooo stressed out!!!!

Signing off,

Y-chan

posted by Lana @ 8/30/2004 03:12:00 pm

T____T I'm finally on the computer and i missed it soooo much!!! *huggles the comp* X_______X i had sooo much mentality during school and i couldn't concentrate much if i didn't have my hands on the computer... ^^;;;;

Anyways, yeah... as what Rika-chan said... the Prelims has begun. Dreaded but nice since we're doing it in an air-conditioned room. ^___^ it is damn shivering so next time i'll be bringing my sweater along so i dont have to freeze myself to death while doing my exams. XD

Signing off,

Y-chan

posted by Lana @ 8/21/2004 10:42:00 am

Ohayou minna!! Just got frustrated with my post template disappearing and the change of colour of fonts to my whole blog!!! GRRRRRRR... now looking for a perfect blog template. But i loved this one!!! This is soooo good and sooo me!! >___< mouuu... anyways nothing much happened since i didn't go to school today. *sighs* waiting to watch GS today at 11:30

XD ja ne minna~!

Signing off,

Y-chan

posted by Lana @ 8/07/2004 11:09:00 am

*sighs* my post template will be gone if i type something!!! ARGHHH! my ICL face is gone!!!!! x_____x

Kleo: -.-''' get a grip will ya... you're embarassing me!!!!

T_T oh well... let's get started to what i wanted to do since this afternoon. My one-shot ficcy!!!

= Past Memory =

What does Death mean to us? To me, it means a step towards another life where we suffer the consequences of our mistakes. Although, some people might think it's a scary step to another lifetime in another world where no living thing has seen. Death is where our lives are taken by God and replaced by another new soul. Some people think that dying is destroying their life and how they began to hate their God. This is were they are wrong. In my opinion, you should be thankful for death. It shows that the particular death of someone shows how their time has ended and they should rest in peace for eternity.

My mother always says to always be thankful that someone's life been taken away because it shows that God wishes to end their time and to show that we have done what we're made to do. People sometimes question about life. What's their purpose and what they should do. To me, that is wrong. Those are wrong to ask from God. We can't expect Him to show the answers because we're meant to search for them on our own. Of course with His help. Many misunderstood that they have no meaning in life when several things has happened to them and how they always happen. They happen for a reason. They would sometimes shun themselves away from society thinking that they're born useles and without a purpose. We live because we're meant to either make a difference or to bring enlightenment to the people around us.

Never question the unquestionable. It'll make you insane just to look for it. Never resist death for you might never bring a new life to cross the Earth. Where there is Death... there is a Life.

Here's my story...

I could feel my bones cracking. My brain began to tighten itself. My heart thumping harder against my chest and my breathing turned shallow. I was just knocked down by a drunk driver. Typical but dumb of the driver. I could feel the sudden coldness flowing in my veins and how my vision seemed to turn into a darker shade. Lights flashed before my eyes and I was deeply dazed out. I couldn't move a muscle as I strained my ears to listen to precious voices. All I could hear was a helpless woman gasping and crying in shock.

"You knocked her down!!" she cried in shock as her fists seemed to be glued to her plump lips. All the drunk driver did was stagger and drink more on his beer bottle. His clothes had blotches of beer and his hair was astray. His eyes had bags under them. He kept on smiling without any trace of shock or regret.

I didn't feel angry at him. Or maybe a hint of anger in me as I turned my eyes to the shakened woman. She fumbled with her shiny cellphone from her pink purse as her fingers flew on the keypad. Hurriedly, she slammed the phone to her ear and spoke in a shaky tone.

"Yes. My drunk boyfriend accidentally knocked down a girl. Yes. West Odaiba. Avenue 7. Along..." she paused as she scanned around for the green signs, "Hikari Street. Yes. Please hurry." and she immediately flipped her phone back.

Tears began to fill my eyes as she kneeled down to me and held me up. Her fingers were warm to my back as my muscles fell limp to her body. I was dying. She was sobbing and stuttered several apologies to my ear as she dug her face to my chest and mumbled her apologies. In my heart, I have already forgiven her.

Almost immediately, I heard the loud sirens and saw flashing red and blue lights through my blurry vision. I soon felt the woman's arms trail off my damp back and the hurried movements of the paramedics in pale green uniforms carrying me gently onto the stretcher. Their voices whizzing pass my ears and the sounds of the heart monitor beside me in the ambulance. I could hear faintly the woman's cries and how her frustrated voice erupted to her boyfriend who was being questioned by one of the policemen that arrived with the paramedics.

I can still feel my heart thumping. Beating against my chest as if a war drum was implanted in my body. My breathing became deep breaths and the feel of a cold needle jumpstart my heart into a normal pace. I felt the ambulance driving bumpily on the tarmac roads. Traffic lights buzzed past us before a flutter of bright white lights and the paramedics pushing me through the long hallways. Almost immediately, I was rushed into the emergency room as doctors in pale blue uniforms prepared themselves with white steril gloves and masks.

My breathing deepened as I tried to keep awake. I could feel the sharp piece of glass piercing deeper into my stomach and my open wounds became wider wtih oxidation. My heart thumped harder again as a nurse injected morphine through my veins. I could feel unwanted and fearful sleep coming by as I resisted.

"This is one hell of a glass..." said one of the doctors as he scanned the protruding glass peculiarly, "This is hard..." he whispered as he looked down to me and gave me an assuring smile.

I felt drowsy but I looked up with all the energy I had left and smiled weakly back at him as he stroked my damp honey hair, "You'll be fine..." he spoke as my eyes slowly closed.

My mind blurred into perfect vision as I stood amongst thick white mists. My hair swaying in gentle movements against cool breezes as I scanned the unusual but comfortable area. All I saw was nothing autumn leaves and a shadow standing under a single tree. I squinted my eyes as I slowly approached the silhouette. Autumn leaves continuously caressing my face as a gentle light began to spread wide to a scene of a forest during an autumn season.

"Yoshimi..." I heard a familiar voice gently caressing my heart as I turned my head to the shadow again, "Doushite..." his voice immediately changed into a saddened and hurtful one.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I came closer and to my surprise. It was my old lover... Yagami Taichi. The first boy I loved. His brown hair swaying against the gentle and crisp breezes. His brown eyes glazed with confidence and gentleness that I was prone to remember. I started to hold out my hand as he stared at it before stepping back in a confusing manner.

"Taichi..." I finally spoke and at that moment, the brightness of the autumn trees and the gentle breezes changed into a coarse and harsh condition. I shut my eyes from the sharp raindrops and the harsh winds. I slowly looked up and noticed Taichi not moving an inch.

"Taichi!" I spoke in a shaky tone.
"... Why did you leave me..." Taichi looked down then looked up with tears in his eyes, "Why did you have to leave me... like this?!" his tone sounded frustrated and confused.

He was right. What he asked was something that immediately clicked in my mind. I was about to reply to him when the conditions scarring me immediately changed into a mountainous sight. Rocks protruded out as I peeked over the peak. It was horrifying but scary.

"Beautiful... isn't it?" I heard another familiar voice as I turned my head around and gasped, "Hey..." Kanbara Takuya managed a smile as I peered up at him.
"Takuya..." I spoke softly but he didn't turn his head to me, "Takuya..."
"It's alright... I understand..." he finally turned his head to me; his brown eyes blazing with fire in them, "I just want you to be happy..." he smiled shakily before looking down and walking away.
"M-Matte! Takuya-"

The mountains began to fade from my eyes as I felt myself being sucked into an unknown beyond.

"Heart status..." the doctor spoke as he slowly pulled the palm-sized glass from my stomach.
"Heartbeat's at normal... pressure is stable..." said a nurse shakily as the doctor started to sew me up.
"She'll make it..." the doctor spoke with relief as he grabbed a thick needle and black string.

I could feel myself being sucked in like being sucked into a black hole for eternity. I was clueless on what to feel but as I began to wonder, I felt hard ground on my feet as I looked down in wonder and looked up to find a group of shadows before me. I furrowed my eyebrows as one by one appeared slowly from the shadows. Taichi appeared. Then, Takuya, Shun Ukiya, Echizen Ryoma and lastly... Yami Yugi.

I could see the dire sadness in their eyes and how I could unusually feel what they were feeling then. How they feel hurt in their hearts and the memories seemed to flash in my mind. How much I hurt them and how I left them. I now understood why my time has to end and how their hurtful memories has to stop.

Their eyes were filled with crystal tears as they slowly stepped back to form a U-shape. As if to stand in attention for someone. I furrowed my eyebrows and immediately gasped to find Kira Yamato... standing in the middle of the guys with plain darkness in his amethyst eyes. I shook my head. I was thinking of several things that he was going to say and the actions he'll do against me.

"Kira..." I could feel tears forming on the brim of my eyes.
Kira smiled weakly before approaching me and wrapped his arms around me, "Promise me you won't leave me. Never to leave me..." he spoke huskily to my ear. I couldn't help but giggles as I hugged him back.
"Yakusoku..." I spoke to his chest as we embraced each other.
"LIAR!!!" I heard someone as I could recognise as Ryoma yelling, "YOU'LL LEAVE KIRA LIKE YOU LEFT US!! YOU'RE GONNA DUMP HIM LIKE SOMETHING UNWORTHY OF YOUR LOVE!!"

I whipped my head around and sadly looked at them. How their feelings managed to ache my heart was something I didn't refuse to feel. I deserve to feel their pain and they have the right to be angry at me. And the more reason for me to leave. I slowly looked up to Kira with sad eyes and pulled away from him.

"SEE?!" a wave of agreement flooded my mind as I looked back at them.
"Gomen nasai..." I managed to whisper as I closed my eyes.

Crystal tears formed and fell from my eyes as I stood amongst the cold and pain. I now understood for the reason of my death and how I shouldn't resist any part of it. I should accept God's reason and be away from the ones I once cared and loved.

I could feel my heart thumping in an unusual pace and how my mind fluttered with several memories I knew I have long forgotten. I could feel nurses touching my arms for my pulse and the doctor hurriedly sewing me up. I could feel my heart slowly coming to a slow pace and how my pain seemed to melt away bit by bit.

"YOSHIMI!!" I heard Kira's faint voice calling me but I didn't dare to open my eyes. I was there. I was coming home. I had to go. I need to go. To protect Kira's heart and to watch over for the rest of those who loved me.
"Doctor, she's leaving... her heartbeats now at 5o beats per minute..." a female voice rung in my ears as the doctor hurriedly grabbed for something huge from what I could faintly hear.
"Tell that boy to stay in the waiting lounge!!" he yelled as he checked my pulse and forced open my eyes; flashing his torchlight above my blue eyes, "C'mon... stay with me..."

I couldn't. I thought in my heart. It's my time to go. Don't make me change my mind. I can faintly feel Kira's shock and pain brewing in his heart and how his anger seemed to be boiling as well. I didn't mean for this to happen but I knew I have to go. I know Kira would forgive me and he will move on with another girl who he will trust forever.

As the doctor moved away and grabbed another instrument, I opened my eyes slowly and looked over to the huge window where I could see Kira struggling with three male doctors holding him back. I put all my energy into a smile as my words crawled out,

"I love you Kira..." and that's when... I was gone. Gone from this lovely and peaceful world.

= End =

That's oh-so-corny one-shot fic. I think this one is not that mushy right? Hmm... i dunnu. You could land your comments in my tagboard. Feel free to comment but not YELL!! please!! >__<>

Anyways, that was just to relieve my stress into this.

Signing off,

Y-chan

posted by Lana @ 8/06/2004 11:20:00 pm

Konnichiwa minna-san!! i know i havent been updating this blog but i have been quite busy with work and such for the next event coming up in my calender and thats TEACHER'S DAY!!! ^.^ can't wait!!!! I was told to do a powerpoint presentation of my classmates great dedications to the teachers. it went well... everybody was supportive!! much more than i expected but hey! This year might be everybody's last year together so we took several pictures of ourselves!! ^_^ it was fun and oh!! i got this great piccy that i took with my friend. her b'dae's coming up and i thought maybe i could give her a memoir!! ^____^ gonna miss her!!!

Y-chan

posted by Lana @ 8/06/2004 02:10:00 pm